well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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