I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize