flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
