I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Is her dick bigger than yours?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
