So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
