so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
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Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
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There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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