haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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