Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
