Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
