Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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