1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
