Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
