How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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