What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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