the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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