Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
