Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
