Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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