To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
