do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i think my mom watched the whole time
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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