Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
They should really pass out barf bags in church
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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