unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
