Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
