Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
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I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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