I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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