oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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