Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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