I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
