Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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