In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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