who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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