Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
