You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
