btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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