its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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