I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
