They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
