If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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