so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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