Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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