You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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