Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
