he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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