I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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