So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
