why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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