It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
