it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
