I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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