yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
