Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
