I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
