the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
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There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize