Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
