is your mom at the bar?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I love having hate sex.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
