So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
