what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
